Are you a Sparkly Nonconformist?
You might wonder how you’d know. Or what I mean by ‘Sparkly’. Seems likely that you’re aware of what a nonconformist is. In case you’d like a refresh, conforming is “to comply with rules or standards”, and nonconforming is doing the opposite. There might be areas in life where you absolutely conform and others where you have a different response because of your unique interpretation. Those places where you conform are in alignment with your approach to life and it feels natural to you; there’s no ‘rub’. And in the situations where you differ, there’s an inner spark that arises; it’s your ‘ping’ of truth that informs your initial decision about whether to follow along – or not.
It can be helpful to examine both sides of your approach to conforming and the topics where you conform and don’t. Being clear that you’re consciously choosing and not on autopilot is key to developing sovereignty. The sovereign woman knows who she is and creates her life by partnering with her desires, Divine Guidance, and inner knowing. She lives from a deep well of love and trust, which – at times - is not conforming. You may or may not identify with being a nonconformist but if you’re reading this, chances are that you’re intrigued.
Let me ask you to remember of a time when you needed to put your own spin on something. It wasn’t just that you had a different idea, but it was a need. Got one? If not, just pause a couple of seconds and feel your breath, let it take you back in time. For me, growing up and on into adulthood, having a different perspective has been a regular occurrence. I just tend to see some things differently. It isn’t harmful or belligerent, it’s that for some topics or situations, I get a full body ‘NO’ to the status quo and follow my own knowing. It has been and continues to be - a need – a way of being true to myself- that comes from deep within. I don’t try to be different, it's just who I am. Kind of a situational non-conformist.
Here’s a time that I just recalled, where I needed to be unique. For some reason, when I was in High School, wearing wigs occasionally was a thing for me. Not for the majority of girls in my
class, but definitely for me. There were days when I needed to wear that short wig because I just wasn’t feeling my long hair. I remember buying that wig and it felt SO liberating!! And the days that I wore it felt like I was expressing a part of myself that was free, creative, and delightful! I’m smiling as I write this because I haven’t thought about that in decades! I remember that my wig slowly disintegrated, and I moved on to new nonconforming territory.
As I reflect on this, what stands out as the important thing is how I felt in that wig. It wasn’t about beauty or rejecting my own hair, it was about complete self-expression! And that feeling of liberation and spunk that bubbled up within when I could create a new look so easily. Now we’re moving into the territory of Sparkle! Your sparkle, as I see it, is the quintessential you! Your essence, free and pure as it flows forth effortlessly. It’s like the daffodils or tulips that rise up from the soil, announcing winter’s end. They’ve been there, under the earth, all along, waiting for the signal to bring joy and beauty to the world. That’s what your sparkle is! Have you heard a baby’s giggle or seen a big grin? Maybe you’ve experienced a toddler’s delight in playing ‘peek-a-boo’? That’s their sparkle! Those babies aren’t proving a point or making a statement – they’re just being their unique selves, pure, sunny, and not self-conscious.
The dictionary uses great words to define sparkle: vivacious, glistening, bright and witty, to name a few. I would add effervescence because there’s this spontaneous bubbling up quality that is a key part of your sparkle. 679 The Sparkly Nonconformist is a place of unique expression and effortless flow as you move through life. It’s not harmful to others but there may be a flavor of trailblazer involved. It’s an unchartered path that beckons, or an awareness that the usual way of doing something can be improved.
There can be an underside to this nonconformist living: the continuum between Sparkly Nonconformist and Resistant Obstructionist. When you get that ‘ping’ of recognition that something ‘doesn’t work for you’, it’s helpful to broaden your thought process a bit and consider where you are on the continuum. Ask yourself, ‘Is this a habitual response for me?’ ‘How do I feel when I’m taking this position?’ These are great questions to consider because what was once nonconforming can become resistance. And it’s in the feeling realm that the answer can be found. Feelings of isolation, ‘I’ll show them’ and muscle tension or tightness are indicators that you’ve traveled away from your sparkle.
When this happens, it’s no cause for alarm and is an excellent time to push the pause button on speaking up, sending that email, or taking action. You might benefit from reaching out to a friend, partner, or coach, if you’re working with one. Sometimes we need mirroring and an outside viewpoint to help us untangle these situations. When your Resistant Obstructionist takes control of the wheel of your life, you might have trouble sleeping, feel ‘off’ or even be irritable. This is a sign that something within you needs to be expressed, felt, and loved. Yes, loved! When we send love to these inner places, things soften, and we can feel more in tune with life.
How do we do this? It starts with awareness, which is why I invited you to consider those questions above. Once you recognize that you’re not feeling great about a certain response, you can actually spend time with it and explore it further. That’s a topic for another article, so stay tuned please! For now, you’ve got the continuum and you can rate your response from 1 to 10 – are you leaning more toward nonconforming or obstructionist territory? If you’re 5 or above, then check out how you’re feeling and hit pause. Allow yourself to honor that obstructionist reaction without giving into it. Thank it and say, “not right now”. And remember to reach out to someone you trust for a deeper conversation about this.
The world needs Sparkly Nonconformists right now, and it’s my greatest pleasure to encourage you to shine, be clear and live from the inspired font of your unique Voice.
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