The Vital Voice and The Rebel
Let’s pause and consider that our voices are natural and necessary. Immediately upon our birth, we inhale and begin to make sound. Vocalizing and breathing are our birthright! But even better - they can be highly enjoyable and soothing.
Somewhere along the way of interacting with life, many of us find that there’s times when our voice isn’t received, perhaps is corrected, or is even silenced. Who hasn’t received ‘the look’ from an authority figure that gives rise to various adaptations within us? We start to believe that our voice is unwanted. Because we want to be loved and connected with others, these correctives and ‘looks of disapproval’ can lead us to edit and adapt our natural voices into something deemed more appropriate or approved so that we remain in relationship with our caregivers and authority figures. We begin a self-censoring of our voice that can take many forms.
To clarify, when speaking of “voice”, I mean all of it! Our words, sounds, asks, demands, needs, wants, outbursts or opinions and everything in between make up Our Unique Voice. And since our voice is exactly that – ours, in whatever form – it’s as much a true part of us as our visible characteristics like our nose, hair, our eyes or the shade of our skin.
It’s been my experience that our unwelcomed words, desires, and opinions – this voice of ours that we believed we had to edit - didn’t just disappear. These natural expressions are an important indicator of our truth and the perspective that is uniquely ours. We suppressed those words and sounds that were unwelcomed – but they remain inside – and unbeknownst to us – take on a life of their own. When not consciously tended to, there’s a tendency for things to come out in a sideways kind of way which can look like a snarky comment, resistance, or even strong feelings like anger or jealousy. Have you ever had an outburst that seemed to ‘come out of nowhere’? That’s your suppressed voice bubbling up, unedited and unvarnished, bursting forth. This can create some uncomfortable experiences for us. Has this ever happened to you?
Let’s focus for a moment on one of my favorite forms of what I lovingly call The Suppressed Voice: resistance. There are many flavors of resistance, but it often boils down to some version of “You can’t make me do that.”
I invite you to bring to mind a task or obligation that you have to wrangle yourself to do -- anything from paying taxes to flossing your teeth. Something that you avoid or postpone. Got one? Get in touch with the dynamic of this. I’m going to ask you to ponder a few questions about this, so if you’re up for it, please grab a journal, open a word doc, or even find a piece of paper that’s handy.
Ready? Notice:
What’s the topic?
Who is telling you that you have to do it?
And the part that won’t do it - what’s it saying?
Which one is ‘louder’?
How are you feeling toward each of these?
Feel into your body. Where do you feel any sensations?
Let’s tune deeper into the part that won’t do it. See if this is your rebel. You can tell by how strong the reaction is. Go ahead and rate it 0 – 10. 0 meaning mild and 10 meaning ‘on fire’
If any of these seem weird to you, no worries. “Parts work” is a way of connecting with the many aspects of ourselves in the inner realm. Have you ever said, “Part of me wants to do this but another part of me doesn’t”? That’s what we’re working with here. I’m licensed in a process called ‘Inner Harmony’ and I’ve been trained in ‘Voice Dialog’, and both explore the magical inner area of our many parts.
What is of great interest to me is liberating the Vital Voice of women. This involves uncovering the layers of suppression that we’ve had to do in our lives due to a variety of experiences. And there comes a time – often in the second half of life – that this suppression starts to create discomfort and can even lead to disease. Noticing your Inner Rebel is one of the first steps toward reclaiming your Vital Voice. If you feel excited about these concepts, that’s your signal that you’re ready to tune in, speak up and start living a fully expressed life!
Get on the Vital Voices waitlist here!